I guess i am lost (not a cry for help)

What do you say when you try to sleep at night when God is looking over you? Thank you for looking over me and guiding me. I just feel lost, I dream every night hoping to awake and be free of the human world. I guess it is because I always feel like I am on the outside of the world of man. I ask each night while dream of a empty land I stand in or a church sitting in one of the rows. What is my purpose here? But not a answer comes, I know we are to find it on our own but hearing everyone give answers does not put you comer to your own. People think of you crazy when you want to escape. Answers lead to questions and again questions upon questions there is no one answer to a question. So what do you do? Do you just keep stepping away or just kneel and take the beating. I have come to see my self as a overseer of what goes on but I guess I choice not to be part of a world that just does fine destroying its self with out me. But the one thing that is always real is the pain of losing someone you love or wishing not to be alone but I know no one in this world  could come to love me the way I wish to be loved. But I am not the only one out there standing in the background. They like me see and are powerless to do anything. We just stand there until we can one day fade away to a better destiny with peace at the end of the road plus a loving family and our family from here too in this world. Does God have a plan for us?  Only time will tell, I just hope we don't have to make a hard choice that we have to live with?  Where do we stand on the battle field?  Can we reach up to be saved or ?  Like I said before I guess I am lost. For this feeling comes and goes.               IX

challenges by swords

In a hall a group of hoods gather and walk out the enterance to the coliseum and take a seat around the opening where the Gladiators fight and tear each other apart. The hoods sit in the crowds and wait for the signal to attack. As the wicked show is going onward and the king of the empire is laughing with whores and soldiers while stuffing his face. When his champion rises and bows to him but the king does not care and waves his hand and the gates open to release a group of lions.. the man swings to try and kill one but fails to watch his back as the one comes from behind and uses its teeth to grab hold of his legs while the other grabs his head and both pull tearing him apart. The hoods sit in a cross shape but one gets antsy wanting to destroy the king and his subjects. But a voice speaks in her head it was Landra saying to her sister Clara that she needs to keep control and wait. The king stands and drinks his wine and speaks to his people asking if they are enjoying the show so far and they cheer for him. He yells bring out the next victim to in entertain us. The gate rises and out comes a warrior amazon women but a young one that is still in training when she was taken from her clan of amazons. The king says bring in the soldiers to fight her. Clara says to the other hood a cross from her in the coliseum which was Caim. She asks it is her we need to attack, Landra agrees with her and says she will not last long in there. Caim says patience let her work with the event and if she can't hand it we will jump in. The amazon warrior girl was not scared for she was young and had tactics on her side. As the five soldiers moved closer to her She moved fast but was out thinking them. She had a spear in one hand and a shield in the other. They came all at once to get her but she struck the soldier on her right blocking his sword and swung her shield that she sharpened the rim of it and split his throat open and blood was flowing out. While the soldier to the front got the spear to the throat as well but she than dipped under the handle of the spear and used the shield once again to the soldier on the left. Now only two were left to kill and she walks over and picks up a sword and the other dead soldiers mace. One runs at her and she runs and slides between his legs and throws the sword at the other soldier stabbing him through the chest. while getting up and turns and swings with all her might and shatters the last soldiers head inward. She stands up straight  and looks to the king. She says I want my freedom you bastard. The king says very well and the gates open to let out the lions  but she looks at them as they circle her and there see her as if she was a friend or sister to them. They come and sit at her side. But the king swings his hands and the soldiers line up around the edges of the pit with crossbows ready fire. Caim nods and the rest is history as his two daughters strike fast like blurs The soldiers fall. Caim runs and the hood fly's off and he lands in the pit as the 15 guards appear by the king and fires there crossbows at the girl but Caim draws his sword from inside his arm and swings destroying the bots and the shockwave cuts off the 15 soldiers head and the kings. Clara and Landra garb him before he can escape as Caim gives her a leg up. She runs and Caim throws her and she does a front flip and lands it. The king begs for his life but she says no good will come from it and breaks his neck. All the people run off scared so it was only them. Caim looks at her and she does the same. She asks who are you? Clara says he is our father and weaver of fates. But the fourth hooded being steps up and removes its hood to be some kind of spirit. it kneels before the amazon woman and asks to be her weapon of protection. He was a spirit that watches over her even when she was little and now she is ready to help others. She takes his hand and he transforms in to a suit of armor that can form weapons at the wheelers will.  The armor had a gold metal lions head on the chest.  Caim picks up the empty cloak and opens a portal and says time to go. The amazon woman says what am I to do? Caim says I meant all of us we are a family of protectors.  Caim asks her what is her name and she says Hera.   

dreams

 A little boy by the name David lays down to bed with his mother by his bed side saying good night with a kiss. She than leaves but has the door cracked for the light to shine in on him because his night light is not bright. As David gets comfortable and closes his eyes, the door slowly closes all the way. Leaving the room in darkness the dim night light he had was dying out when the shadows on the walls and from his TV and toys start to move towards His bed. They form into one at the boys bed side and grow to form a creature with no face but a wide mouth with sharp teeth like razors. Its hands form claws that reach out towards the boy while its mouth stays open and whispers the boys name David, David, David... Off in dream land David plays with his friends and runs through the fields and into toy stores. He than stop because he hears his mother calling him to come to the picnic. The creature outside the dream puts his hand on David's head and starts to fill it with nightmares. The ground starts to dry up with dead grass every where the tree his mother sat under twisted and turns to a wick tree with crows on the limbs. But his mother keeps calling him but a rope fly's down and goes around her neck and strings her up. David screams as she kicks and chokes while the crows fly towards him so he starts to run but the ground. Turns to mud and sucks him down He falls through  the bottom into the toy store and it is dark he runs and turns on the lights to only see a girl in a white dress cover in blood with pig-tails with one arm and no eyes. when she opens her mouth bugs come out and crawl on the floor. David shuts off the lights and runs to the offices and hides under the desk. His heart races and he breathes heavy but tires to control his self. The girl starts to sing a one line versus about coming to get you to eat out your heart and use your head as a new toy ball, to use your lungs as balloons. David cries and garbs his mouth to stop breathing so hard for her to hear him. The door opens to the office and foot steps come in slowly. As the boy looks out from under the desk. The dead girl is on top of the desk and looks under. The boy sees the girls pig-tails appear over the edge and than her face. His eyes widen as he screams out loud.  David's  mother was in the other room when she hear him scream for help and she runs to his aid. But as she opens the door the creature looks towards her and she freezes up in fear. The boy awakens and sees the monster open its mouth wider and begins to drain the life from his mother. David's heart races as he tires to be brave and runs to the hallway and turns on all the lights in the house the creature screams and the mother falls to her kneels as the monster burns from to much light. David calls the police and drags his mother out to the neighbors house for help. Later at the hospital his mother awakens and asks what happen and what was that thing? Her son just says a bad dream or bad timing for us? The police find the body of the creature but can't make heads or tails of it because it was to badly damage from burning.

Pages of a mountain

At a distances you see a world cover in writing nay. It is a world made out of old stories and poem's plus speeches for the greater good or to rival a corrupt lord or faction. Words that were said or words that were never said float through the air like shrapnel. But as you get closer to the world you see only a flat plain of lands but everything is written on. The grounds, the trees. the only highest perk is a mountain made out of books. At the very top through the clouds you see a fire burning with a man sitting by it waiting for someone to come. The fire gets low so he grabs some books and throws them in to the flames to get them back up. He grabs his bag and withdraws from it a book of magic and opens it. The pages fly out and circle him. He than points to one that will send a massage to the one he waits for. The page writes his thoughts and fades away. Than he continues to sit and wait for two days later a portal appears and out steps a hooded no face being that speaks the words what have you called me for weaver of fate? The man says I want my freedom out of this world. But the hooded being says no you are a danger to everyone but here you may be part of the guardian race but you will not change Caim's destiny which is to finally be happy. The man by the fire says but I am a part of him I can make him stronger. The hooded man says you are lucky that I let you live because Caim wishes it. The hooded man goes back through the portal back to tell Caim the story. While leaving behind a book about hero's for the weaver to read of Caim's victories.  But the hooded man was not a man at all. It was Clara and she says in a soft voice the true is the true and  he is the false. But the weaver and the guardian will never be one. Only danger and death come from that path.

Fair Grounds

Graduation day teenagers gather to plan how to celebrate the end of school and go on to collage. Five friends Kate, Jeff are a couple with plans for going in to business together and as for Will and Ashley they want to go and see the world after collage where they will be scientist to cure people of illness. But as for the last person in the group Alexander  he doesn't not know what he wants out of life, he never had a plan to start with. His friends ask him to go to the dance afterwards but he just goes home and rest. As he walks home a piece of trash hits his leg but it was a newspaper saying that there was a Fair in town but not no normal Fair but a masked Fair grounds full of games and rides so he goes.  Alexander asks his mother to drop him off at the Fair grounds. Later a Car stops and the door opens to let alexander out. He takes two steps forward and sees the man with the top hat at the enters to the Fair. Alexander's mother says she will be back soon to pick him up. The man with the top hat hands out a ticket for Alexander and says you will need a mask my friend and hands him a dragon mask and shows him in while saying this maybe your luck day. Inside you hear kids screaming on the rides and adults too, some kids run by with mothers and fathers right behind them. Girls pulling boyfriends and boys walking with there girlfriends playing the games and winning prizes for them. Alexander knows no one will know him with the mask but he has never had a girl to call his heart. So he walks onward and plays the games and rides the roller coaster.  Balloons fly away from kids making them cry and some fly away from the stands. When Alexander gets off the ride the man with the top hat appears at the enters to a tent yelling for people to step right up and be amazed by the wonders of power and magic with wishes. Alexander decides to step inside and get a front row sit at the show. As the lights dim the spotlight comes up and boom smoke appears with a man dressed like a mage out of a fantasy book. He start to do magic tricks like cards, birds appearing out of air and pulling rabbits out of hats and cloaks. But for his final act he picks someone from the crow and saws them in half. The crow enjoys it but behind the scenes someone is watching Alexander as the show goes on he tells the crow that the tricks he has done are small but he asks for people to make only one wish and he will grant it. People wish while others do not believe. The mage swings is hands and light shines over the crow. Some wished for cars while others new houses or good luck for the rest of there life. After the show Alexander goes back to playing the games and rides but at one of the throwing games a girl softly garbs his hand and says her name is Lura. Alexander blushes and looks at her. She wear a white dress and a white rabbit mask with beautiful pick eyes. She smiles and says I could not help but see you are alone at the Fair why is that? Alexander says to her that he does not have a girl but his friends are going on to bigger and better things now. Lura asks could she stay with him and spend sometime having fun. Alexander nods and the rest of the day goes like a dream for him. He says to her that he has never felt happier in his life. Lura kisses him on the cheek as they ride the roller coasters later he wins her a teddy bear and gives it to her while asking if she lives around town. Lura says yes but her family moves around a lot so she is here for the time being. Than she says she saw Alexander at the show but was to shy to sit with him. He than asks her how she feels now and she says safe with him.  As it gets late Alexander asks to walk her home but she says that she is home and shows him her family as they go to the tent where the magic show was. As they enter the tent the mage says oh I see you found the boy that wished for you my dear and Alexander says what do you mean by that? Lura says to Alexander that this Fair is not normal but a safe heaven for magic beings. Alexander says but I don't under stand I did not wish for anything. The mage smiles and says you may think that but your heart did for you and here she is. Alexander looks at Lura and sees fairy wings appear but she removes the mask to show her face. So Alexander asks what he is to do and the mage says protect your new family this is to be your role in our world. You had no plans right so why let take a journey my friend. The mage draws back the cloak and a portal is open for Alexander and Lura to have a life together. Alexander says I am a little scared and Lura says don't be I will be here for you.  So they step through to be with the magic world of beings and Alexander lives to be a protector, good father and husband.

What definces us

Caim sits under a tree and rests while his wife and daughter Clara sit beside him and set up a picnic. He looks out to the field to see the rest of his family running around in the flowers enjoying the world he has created and protected. He smiles at his wife and daughter while saying it is good to be home again. Later on Clara runs out to play with her sisters and fly kites while Caim and her mother spend time with either. As Caim's wife rests in his arms, she asks him what  he is thinking about? Caim says the difference of us and the world out side what makes them strong to carry on in the fight? She says is this about the war you were in? Caim looks confused and She explains that Clara saw you kill the horde that killed the farmers while they were trying to protect there land and families. You save two children that day. but I must ask what goes through your mind in war my love? Caim looks down and than up at her than says the end. I am scared that I am going to be what I fear for always I am the last of my race. She pulls him down on top of her and holds tight saying that will never happen as long as she and the rest of his family draw breath to protect you and your heart. He stares in to her beautiful dark green eyes and gets lost. She blushes and smiles while kissing him. Clara runs over and garbs Caim and gets him to fly kites with her and spend time with the others. But by Caim's wife appears his master the goddess of guardians. Caim's master cries seeing him being happy for the time being. She asks does he know of the road ahead? Caim's wife says no but we are not letting him face it alone and his master says agree.

For any out there trust is a hard thing to come by but when you find it. It will have your back and yours to it for when the world looks to you what will you fight for? what will keep your heart going when all is fading?  Remember when you make a choice you are not alone for you may not be the first to make it  but you may be guiding another that needs help to stand against the winds or the fall of a world.   There is people that watch over you and there is people that stand on all sides of you. Anyone in that crow could be a guardian send to help or it could be the other way around.  You could be the one to help them in there time of need.   What will you say to them when the time comes or the world?

Words

You hear birds singing and people walking around a fountain in a park. Near by is a bench where a old black man sits down to rest and feed the birds while enjoying the day. He is blind but with a heart like his there is no need for eyes. He feels not just his world but others going through problems. Some good and some bad. In a way he is free to see the happiness through his heart. When babies are born he knows and even the blooming of trees and flowers. But as the day goes on he feels the weight of another sit beside him. The old mans name is charlie and he senses that the person beside him is not from this world. Charlie says welcome stranger you are not from around here are you? The stranger was Clara's father Caim. Caim tries to speak but Charlie says no need my friend you have a weight upon your heart you are running from something or is it that you are slowly fading away and trying to spare your family the pain. Caim lowers his head and Charlie says I would like to say some words if you do not mind? Caim shakes his head to say he does not mind. Charlie says well have you ever thought of the words you are going to say to them because you can not run forever. Words my friend are more powerful than any weapon in any world. They can rise armies or destroy them, they can strength the weakest of hearts or soothe some ones mind before they leave or pass away leaving behind a legacy to be strong to protect others. Even kings that kill there opposes have to surfer with the words of the people they have take and families they have ruined echoing through there minds till they die. Your body may turn to dust but your words live on in the winds and in the children you gave life to. They will be true to your name and up hold it with honor and love. Just remember words destroy walls and build bridges and cities. They will bring people together, now my words to you my friend thank you for your time with listening to me and stand strong, stop running and use your time to face your end. You will not be alone in the end because you have family waiting for you to come home. Your past is passed and your present is now and the future is not yet written for you. So gave your last words with love and have there back to the end. If people could see there strong words in the air or through time its self the world would be able to learn not to fight others to be a rock for others to be strong too. As charlie stops with his last sentence. He smiles and say well you have company here to see you my friend take care of your self we might meet again. Caim looks up to see a portal open and out comes Clara. Caim looks to the bench to see the old man is gone. Caim stands up and slowly an walks towards Clara with tears in his eye trying to find the words to spoke but all he can do is say I am sorry my love for running. Clara cries and jumps in to his arms and says she does not care. That she has missed him and that he will not disappear on her watch. She holds tight to her father and says lets go home. Caim takes a step and inside he is scared but Clara says I am here for you father you will not be alone no more. He takes a deep breath and walks through. On the other side a large family greets him with open arms and kisses.